they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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