Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
