did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
