dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
