I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize