Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
