i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
