If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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