My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
please come you make the beer taste better
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize