Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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