I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
