I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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