I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
