if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.