he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.