I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits