Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.