You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
