By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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