Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
