are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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