Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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