I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
