Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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