I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
