PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
