Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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