meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize