Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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