you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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