He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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