i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
