you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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