i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm just crazy horny about you
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
