So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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