You really coming over, don't trick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
