The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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