so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
