We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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