if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
