fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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