I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
