butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
