as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize