I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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