yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
