8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
