I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
