the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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