All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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