That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
