So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
