if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
