Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
third nipple confirmed
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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