You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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