So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
