...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
