Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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