im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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