Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
