idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
