I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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