We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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