if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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