I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die